THIS IS THE NUMBER-ONE EQ SKILL EVERY LEADER NEEDS
So, you already know that self-awareness is a vital skill for today’s leaders of change. But here’s something that might surprise you: self-awareness isn’t just about knowing yourself. It’s also about knowing how others experience you.
If you’ve already built a pretty healthy sense of internal self-awareness – that is, having a good sense of your own inner narrative, and understanding who you’re being and how it affects what you’re doing on a daily basis – then evolving your external self-awareness should also be on your radar. The next step in emotional intelligence, it asks us to face what many of us fear on a deeply fundamental level: others’ experience of us.
It takes courage to deep dive into how we’re showing up in someone else’s eyes. But the good news is, evolving your awareness in this way is crucial for effective leadership, and that has a ripple effect on your own joy, confidence and results, too.
The bigger picture
Part of evolving self-awareness is the ability to recognise when you’re in survival mode and in thriving mode. Imagine, then, taking this a step further and recognising (and taking responsibility for) how your survival and thriving habits and actions affect your business and work, your team and relationships.
You might already know that when you feel like you’re in survival mode, you’re typically forgetful, reactive and time feels like it’s on fast-forward. It’s also in our nature to become more focused on the small details as we seek control; our takeover mode can also kick in. You might move into micro-managing instead of staying elevated in your thinking and actions and handing over the reins to your talented team. Extending your self-awareness allows you to see how that can trickle over into your team feeling stressed, frustrated, unheard and unappreciated – emotions that aren’t exactly conducive to performing well and feeling good.
Recognising your habits and behaviours in yourself is great, but it’s what you do with that intel that matters. Can you take action to shift how you’re showing up for your team in this state? Work on your ‘being’ mode so you’re less impatient, more thoughtful? Stay focused on the bigger picture, and trust that the team can perform at the operational level? Perhaps being aware in this way will prompt you to ask your team or colleagues for their thoughts on how to move through a sticky situation (empowering them rather than shutting them out), and check in with them about how they’re navigating the pressure.
The payoff for these kinds of actions is stronger relationships, a better working environment and a happier, way more effective team.
Dare greatly to invite feedback
Expanding your awareness to take in how others experience you is clearly a valuable skill for leaders of change. But it can be a tricky one to embrace.
It requires us to set aside our ego, and take in learning about how we might be wrong about what we believe about ourselves. We have to be open to hearing that some of our ways of being and doing may not be hitting the right note for those around us. So, if you’re ready to develop this skill, it can help to move forward with this quote front of mind:
“It’s difficult to learn if you already know.” – Amy Edmondson, Harvard Business School
What do we mean by that? Effective leaders are those who have a genuine curiosity about how they can improve. When it comes to external self-awareness, keeping an open mind – and a courageous attitude – is crucial.
To get started, reach out to a few trusted friends or colleagues for some honest feedback on how you’re showing up. Ask them to share both areas in which you excel, and those that could perhaps use some work. Turning to more than one source is important here so that you get a bunch of perspectives. And the most important part? Taking those perspectives onboard and understanding how they might fit with your values. What it’s not about is pleasing everyone or getting caught up in a comparison trap, trying to be everything to everyone. We’ll be talking about boundaries and forms of being over the next coming months.
When you do receive information that is uncomfortable for you, stay curious and brave to work out why it has you feeling that way. Remember, you’re being given the opportunity to examine ways of being that you may never have consciously reviewed before, and that provides us with powerful tools for change!
Your purpose here is to inhale new information to think about how you could adapt and evolve into a bigger, more impactful version of you, just as you would if you were seeking feedback from customers about a product or solving a complex business problem. Ask yourself, ‘How could this be helpful for evolving my limiting beliefs or actions?’
It’s all valuable feedback for powerful introspection that will help you become a better version of you.
If you’re ready to reimagine how powerful and productive you can be – the best version of you – reach out about our private partnerships, or join us in our Sustainable PACE program to transform your awareness, productivity and results.